Hello there! My name is Deena, and I chose this photo for my blog mainly to make a point. It’s here because I look happy and healthy. (Funny story for later…) I resembled what I envisioned *normal* to look like. What is “normal” anyway? I have always disliked that word because there is no way you can put a label like that on something so complex as a human being. So yeah, this really IS what mental illness looks like, at least on this day.
The days I stayed in bed and cried for hours is what mental illness looks like. Being in the place that made me think it was okay to try and take my own life, is also what mental illness looks like. It’s not pretty all the time, and it’s not ugly all the time, but rarely is there ever a happy medium. It truly IS what it IS, on any given day. On a positive note, I do try to be self-aware and discover new things about myself and my thoughts, every day. I try to learn who I am.
I have been asked by several people, to my surprise, to write a book about what mental illness feels like.
These people have lost or almost lost, family or friends. They wanted to know what was happening in the minds of their loved ones, and closure was never a gift they received. Sadly, I don’t know what anyone is, or was, thinking. It is different for each of us. Maybe I can’t give a concrete answer, but if I can shed even an ounce of light, it’s time I do it. I won’t be writing a book any time soon, putting my thoughts here will have to do for now.
I can only speak for myself because I know MY truth. I know I’m opening myself up to judgment from others by slapping my thoughts on a website for all the world to see. Being in a vulnerable place emotionally is my choice. I do it because it’s time for me to do my part to normalize being open about feelings. To normalize talking about internal struggles. To stop being ashamed and start asking for help. If I do it, maybe others will give it a shot, too. Life is too short for shame.
The stigma behind mental illness has spiraled out of control.
It’s no secret that the stigma surrounding mental illness has escalated significantly, and unfortunately, it shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. This is a truly disheartening reality. It’s important to understand that my statement was not intended to be negative, but rather a reflection of the truth.
Consider this: mental illness is often perceived as “ugly”, or “scary”, which are qualities that many prefer not to confront. So, if you do happen to struggle with your mental health and you can’t keep yourself in check enough to appear normal, it’s not going to be long until you begin to notice that your loved ones slowly begin “leaving you be”. They stop checking in. They stop calling. It’s no surprise why so many people end up feeling alone. They ARE alone, but the worst part? They are alone because they were simply themselves. And so, yet another cycle of self-loathing begins.
Remaining silent will not do anything to end the stigma. Don’t get me wrong; it will lessen, but only if more individuals step forward and speak their truths. Bravery in the face of fear and judgment, is essential, along with embracing and loving our true selves, unapologetically.
Personally…
I take pride in being someone who lives with a mental illness and manages to navigate her way through it with grace. (Most of the time, anyway.) When I stop to think about it, why shouldn’t I be proud? Why shouldn’t YOU? We are warriors, we are survivors. We heal. Over and over again, and there is so much beauty in that. As a survivor, I feel it’s my turn to do something to help others who may be struggling. It’s time to be a light for others trying to find their way out of the darkness. It’s time to show people that they aren’t alone.
It’s TIME TO START TALKING!
